mirror talk

I'm definitely having a monday on a tuesday here courtesy of the long weekend.  I had to arm wrestle myself into starting the laundry this morning (and it got kind of ugly).  After that scene, I decided it was time for a new playlist.  I kicked it off with I Don't Feel Like Dancing by the Scissor Sisters.  And contrary to the title, I always do dance when I listen to this song.  Like in my kitchen.  By myself.  And the animals looked at each other like, "uh, yea, she's lost it".  But, I didn't care, because after my little session, I was ready for the rest of my day, and life is good and here I am. So, to continue on with this somewhat random string of musings….I've noticed something I've been doing a lot lately that needs correcting.  I have a lighted make-up mirror in my bathroom, and the self talk that's been happening in that mirror the past couple of months is not good.   Not good at all I tell you.  The monolog goes something like this…

I think you got a new wrinkle last night. Those elevens are hideous.  Your right eye is more droopy than your left.  Your hair color looks kind of mousey …...and on and on and on…..

Until last week I had to tell myself STOP... and sit myself down... and have a talk that went something like this…

You are a trusted and loved and worthy daughter of God.  You are beautiful in ways that matter so much more than your hair or your skin or that new wrinkle.  And by that way…..when you smile at yourself and quite ripping yourself apart, you will feel so much HAPPIER. 

So, this monolog is my new mantra.  And is is sooooo hard for me not to revert to the old one.  Like SO hard.  Because the other one was easier for me to believe, but completely toxic and debilitating.  So today, in the mirror, I will remember who I am.  I will make a conscious choice to trust in God's love for me, despite all of those imperfections.